I haven’t watched very much TV recently, so flipping around I was surprised to see how many ads there were for Naked and Afraid.
It’s an interesting premise. But the world is such a wondrous place where every single day there’s a high probability of low-probability amazing events occurring.
So why does nudity always have to be afraid?
Why not be more positive?
Naked and Confident.
Naked and Invigorated.
Naked and Effectively Managing Your Moderate to Severe Plaque Psoriasis with Skyrizi.
Naked and Crushing That PowerPoint and Pivot Table, Rocking Two Big Screens While HR Is Writing You Up Again.
That’s the naked person I want to see on television. Not huddled behind a tree in Nicaragua crying because a centipede crawled into his sleeping area.
I want somebody completely nude in a conference room saying, “Susan, if you look at column H you’ll see EBITDA increased twelve percent year over year.”
Nobody acknowledges the nudity.
This guy has numbers.
Discovery has even expanded the franchise with Naked and Afraid: Apocalypse.
But why stop there?
If being naked improves survival television, we have an enormous amount of programming still sitting on the table.
Naked House Hunters.
“We really love the open concept, but at this price point I was hoping for a second bathroom and considerably less visibility from the street.”
Naked and Jeopardy.
The podiums suddenly become extremely important.
Naked Shark Tank.
“I’m seeking $200,000 for ten percent of my company.”
“Sir, before we discuss valuation, please sit down.”
And obviously the game shows:
Wheel of Birthday Suits.
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Without Any Pants On.
The Price Is Right and I Can See Your Dick.
Television has been leaving an entire wardrobe category unexplored.
Maybe naked people were never the problem.
Maybe they just needed better jobs.